My Life As A Digital Dogsbody

Since moving to Ottawa from Vancouver almost five years ago, I have found myself working for government departments. On the one hand, some of these projects have been important and challenging. On the other hand, many of them have been dull. The factors that contribute to the dullness of the work are:

1. I am almost always working with someone else’s code rather than architecting a solution myself.
2. Since each client is looking for previous experience, it is is harder to get experience in competing technologies.
3. I do not choose or recommend technologies.
4. I do not get to sell myself – I am sold by recruiters. I like selling.
5. Government departments tend to be conservative in their approach.
6. Budgets have forced many of my clients to hire very small, often one person teams. The resulting code is often good in one area, but mediocre in many other respects. (For example, there may be a well designed site sitting on a bad database. Or, there might be a great object layer, but no requirements and poor usability.)
7. I am withering on the vine from lack of exposure to innovation. My creativity has not always been required.
8. I do not negotiate the contract with the client. My recruiter does. The terms and conditions often have more to do with payment schedules than with project management or quality control.
9. My business in Vancouver was based on referrals and relationships. Selling myself through recruiters, and the nature of the government procurement process itself, does not make this easy or possible.

This probably reflects more on the ghetto I have allowed myself to fall into than on government as a whole. I have allowed myself to become a digital dogsbody.

Working with young people has been a pleasure. I like new ideas, and I need the shock of being exposed to a new perspective every now and then. But, I also suffer because I am older than many developers. It requires a certain humility to work under a younger person who is making mistakes I have already made and learned from. I know better than to criticize, but there are times when humility has come close to humiliation. I hate being paid to do a bad job, but it is often not my responsibility to make sure that the job goes well.

Therefore, I need to make some changes. Perhaps it will take a while. I need to find my own clients, and I need to take responsibility for finding projects that are exciting. I need to put myself in positions where my age is an asset and not a liability. This probably means hiring help, training others and mentoring. This probably means being paid for my advice and experience as much or more than for my hands-on work.

With my recent heart problems, I also need to diversify my revenue streams. My arteries are clean, but for some reason, my heart is weak. I have gotten to the point where I am stronger, and capable of exertions that healthy people my age are impressed by – but, I pay in fatigue.

The challenge now will be to get the kids through school, and to provide for my retirement while aging and dealing with the threat of illness. I need passive revenue streams based on continuous or metered services. I may also need a business that can continue to earn revenue on a day-to-day basis without my presence or participation. A sick day represents a loss to me right now, but I need a business that can allow me to have a bad day.

The very young have a reputation for adaptability and an ability to change and learn. This is true, but as you get older, there is still a need to change and grow. There is still a need to learn. Conditions still put pressure on you to evolve. At 46, I still consider myself young enough – but this is a time of change. Uncertainty is there, too. If you are twenty-five years old, and you think your goals are in sight, it might be hard to imagine this – goals change, something always slips beyond your grasp even as you grab a hold of it.

Basically, life finds a way to continue to be challenging. At the end of the day, it can be fun. It has to be. Now, I need to find ways to put an end to my life as a digital dogsbody. Instead of moaning about the lack of opportunities to be creative, I need to be creative.